


Cocktail Night

by Koalagriton



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: drunk turtles, except leo, leo pov, poor Leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7060039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koalagriton/pseuds/Koalagriton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>turtle-sketches and I were deciding what cocktails would fit each turtle. This story was a result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocktail Night

All four of them go to a bar that is holding some sort of costume party thing. Leo doesn't think it's a good idea but he's unable to stop the wave of enthusiasm that the others are riding and decides to go along not because the others have convinced him to let loose but because he doesn't want three drunken brothers unattended in public.

 

They arrive at the bar a bit early, it's some dark dingy joint with some poor excuse for a dance floor but there are others getting there little by little for the happy hour costume cocktail night. They pick a dark table in a corner.

 

Mikey tries to convince Leo to order a Long Island Ice Tea but Leo isn't buying it. “That's got way too much alcohol in it and ice tea is blasphemy.”

 

As soon as a waitress walks over to them with a jug of water and some glasses Raph orders his Vegas Bomb Shot with a pleased slap on the table.

 

Leo doesn't like the way he seems so accustomed to ordering at a bar, didn't even have to look at the menu or chalkboard for cocktails and it isn't even written down anywhere, but says nothing about it when he reads off his own choice: “Cucumber Cooler, non-alcoholic please.”

 

“Virgin. Suits ya.” Raphael answers after rolling his eyes with a smug grin showing his canines and Leonardo ignores the way Mikey hides his chuckle behind a cough and fist-bumps him under the table.

 

“Sex on the Beach for me!” Michelangelo orders next with a pleased grin on his face.

 

Raphael doesn't bother to hide his “Haaaa!” while sneaking a glance at grimacing Leo who shakes his head.

 

“What about you, sweety?” The waitress asks Donatello who hasn't even eyed the menu hogged by Mikey and Leo.

 

For a second Leonardo thinks Donatello is fine with water and is pleased he managed to get through to one brother as he takes a sip from his glass.

 

“I'd like a Screaming Orgasm, please.” Donatello says with a completely serious face and Leonardo spits out his water through his nose.

 

Michelangelo acts like it's the funniest thing he's ever witnessed, tears streaking down his face as he's laughing into his crossed arms making the weirdest sounding wailing laugh Leo's ever heard.

 

The waitress comes back with a tray and their orders right away (the bar is still pretty empty). Raph empties his the second it touches the table, the two glasses clinking as one falls into the other, and he orders another straight away, pushing Leo's hand away when he starts to complain. Mikey's drink is decorated and lively, it suits him, but they all stare at what looks like a cold glass of milk placed in front of Don.

 

“This can't be a real thing!” Raphael exclaims as Don lifts it and takes it to his lips. “What was it called again?”

 

“S-screaming Orgasm!!” Mikey's started laughing again and then he starts slapping the table as he continues laughing silently with his mouth open just making gasping seal noises to breathe in when Donatello licks the “milk moustache” off his beak, lewdly grinning at Leo who's turned an embarrassed shade of purple.

 

After half an hour Mikey and Raph are pretty drunk.

 

The bar is more full now and they have to talk a bit loud to be heard over the noise, not as loud as Raph and Mikey are talking to each other, an inch away from each other's faces as they alternate between slinging an arm over the other, laughing about something or arguing about something else.

 

Most of it is Don's fault.

 

Leo isn't sure if Don's drunk, he's already had 3 or 4 glasses of whatever was in that milky thing he was having and he seems fine, except for the fact that he keeps goading Raph and Mikey into ridiculous arguments and giving them crazy ideas.

 

“The only way you can resolve this.” He says in all seriousness as they turn to look at him as arbitrator. “Is with a dance off.”

 

They both think that's the best idea they've ever had and Leonardo's accusing gaze snaps to Donatello. “What are you doing?!” To which Donatello just shrugs with a grin on his face and orders another orgasm.

 

They're supposed to go unnoticed. It was their deal. And now not only is Leonardo having a mini heart attack as the other dancers form a circle around his brothers with the spotlight on them and everything, but their drunk dancing is awful and he has to deal with the second-hand embarrassment as well. He watches them through his fingers, groaning as Don's smile gets wider until they come back, glad it's over.

 

“So who won?” Donatello asks them much to Leo's dismay. They had forgotten what they were doing but NOW they remember and they can't tell who was the winner.

 

“We need to figure out a more quantifiable method.” Donatello suggests with his hand on his chin as if he were resolving a problem during a mission. “I know! The one who gets the most phone numbers from people in the bar wins. A number written on your body gets double points!”

 

New best idea of the night, if you go by the reactions from Mikey and Raph, and by this point Leo is so done with everything he doesn't even care any more. Still watches them like a hawk as he sips on his own veggie drink and wishes for the night to be over soon.

 

A while later Don is definitely drunk and Leo shouldn't be relieved and yet he is, because he's too drunk to give the others more crazy suggestions. He does start stroking Leo's face and calling him pretty.

 

Time to go.

 

Raph and Mikey sing obnoxiously loud all the way back, even when Leo is trying to manoeuvre Don through the manhole cover instead of dropping him to his death. His shushing makes them both begin shushing each other incredibly loudly before it turns into cackles and more singing a few seconds later so he's given up trying.

 

Donatello is too drunk to walk so Leonardo ends up carrying him bridal style through the tunnels.

 

He isn't too drunk to keep trying to stroke his face and other... parts of him that make him almost trip and fall in a heap more than once. When he seems well enough to walk on his own, Leo is slightly relieved until Donatello suggests they need to include Leonardo in their fun by way of inserting his name into every song they are yelling out at each other while Leo herds his brothers in the correct direction.

 

My Leonardo don't!  
My Leonardo don't!  
My Leonardo don't want none unless ya got buns, hun!

 

Once they are back Splinter gives them one stern look and when it only has effect on Leonardo, who shrugs helplessly, goes back to the safety of his room before they start singing about him.

 

The next morning is met with hangovers, except Don who is surprisingly chipper. Leonardo scowls at his cheery smile as he pulls out the aspirin. He didn't have a drop of alcohol but his whole body is sore from carrying Donatello around. He's got a headache from worrying about the state they were in all night, he barely slept and he feels like he just got back from an all-night mission.

 

He guesses it sort of was.

 

When Michelangelo joins them in the kitchen with a pamphlet for another costume party next week Leonardo groans into his hands.

 


End file.
